Thirteen things

I don't know how to link this to the Thursday Thirteen, but I am writing it anyway...


THIRTEEN THINGS...I will miss

1. Blue eyes
2. The Beast
3. Fighting over the space heater
4. Chocolate ___
5. Late night gatherings
6. Bah Humbug
7. "What, I didn't do it"
8. Front loader
9. Appointments
10. Little Man
11. Cobb Salad
12. My worn out key
13. Table Talk

Six...a difficult day

I have been making several LIFE choices lately. Today was no different. I made the biggest step in creating peace in my life (my apologies in advance for not giving many details). At the moment of my choice I felt as if my heart would leap from my chest. I had a difficult time breathing and putting words together while trying to express myself clearly...all while crying. There are people in your life with whom you develop an incredibly intense bond, hence the tears. Today I decided to say goodbye to a major part of my life and (deep down inside) look forward to moving on to a new phase. I mourn the pending loss of friendship, love and compassion. This is a loss that I have chosen, but still very painful. So far I have cried for 2 hours today, I plan on not crying the rest of the night! I do plan on having a cocktail or two and possibly finding something to laugh about.

Most of the time I am a positive person and apologize for being a bit of a downer today! Send me something that will make me laugh!

As for my goals...I have set them aside for the day. Chantix is one goal I haven't set aside today. Cigarette count: 11 as of 7p. Probably a few more being lit tonight.

Five...

Day 5 with Chantix. My new friend. I only meet you twice a day but look forward to our developing friendship. STILL...NO SIDE EFFECTS! WOO HOO!!!

When I awoke this morning, it was -22 degrees and with the wind chill...-45 degrees. DAMN COLD. School was two hours late so that meant an interesting morning lie in wait. I love Minnesota, but wonder why it has to be so cold. On a day this cold, we should all just curl up under a blanket, read a book or watch a favorite movie.

Exercise today? None
Soda? One...oops
Cigarettes? 12, maybe 13

No puppies yet.

Day 4 & FREEZING MY A$$ OFF!

It is approximately 16 degrees below zero in nowhere Minnesota! Far too cold to go outside and smoke. Instead of smoking tonight, I worked out on the new eliptical machine. 5 minute warmup with no resistance, 10 minutes of level three resistance, then...finally while gasping and feeling as if my legs would turn to rubber and allow me to tumble to the ground, I finished with 3 minutes of a warm down! My legs are burning from the time spent on level 3...I plan on keeping this pace each day.

With the Chantix, I am creating goals to revamp my life.

Goal #1. Quit Smoking
Goal #2. Work out 5-6 days per week, DURATION: as long as I can tolerate.
Goal #3. Get my asthma under control
Goal #4. Swim in the Lake Swim competition this summer
Goal #5. NO SODA! Drink Splenda sweetened decaf tea instead
Goal #6. Eat breakfast everyday
Goal #7. Go easy on myself when I don't succeed
Goal #8. Spend less time on the couch
Goal #9. Cook at home every night
Goal #10. 2B determined later!

Now that it is writing, I will feel more compelled to work on them. My greatest fear is failing. I will not fail, I am capable.

***NEW TOPIC*** I am anxiously awaiting the arrival of my puppies. The other night I could feel one or two pups moving, now I can feel most of them, unsure of what the final count will be. I can't resist resting my hand on her belly to catch one of them moving.

My son is going to his very first formal dance this Saturday. This is a traumatic event in the life of a mother with only one child. An imaginary voice is screaming inside my head..."THE END IS NEAR, THE END IS NEAR!!!" I know a mother's work is never done, this sign tells me I only have a little while until my little boy (SORRY TAYLOR) will be leaving my care and becoming a reasonably independent man in just a few short years. Oh, the sadness of it all.

Sorry, no pictures today.

Chantix: Day 3 and other ordinary things

So, here we are on day 3 with Chantix. Tomorrow I have to remember to take it twice. I have the most difficult time remembering to take my meds, but not remembering to smoke. I wonder if it is possible to take a pill that will remind your body the same time each day that it's med time???

Still I have no side effects to report. After dose 2, I wondered if the dreams would start, no dream freaky land found yet. I have noticed today that I have NO appetite. Very unusual for me because I do love my food.

Stress is my middle name, so...as my day wore on, I noticed I was smoking a lot. I had to buy a pack at 11:00a because I ran out last night. (I am a little shocked that the nicotine gremlin didn't scream at me long before then. As of now I have only smoked 10 cigarettes. By the end of the night, probably 13.

And now on a totally different subject...

WHY DO KIDS LIE???

I wish there was a magic truth pill we could give them until they turn 18 and then they can lie to us about who they chose in the voting booth, who they are "making out with", where they have been all night, and why their car looks like it took a bath in a pigpen!!! I think a lot of parents struggle with why their kids tell fibs or straight out lies. I understand the psychology of a lie...usually done for self-preservation. BUT...When you have explained to the teenager in your life, oh I don't know...A MILLION TIMES...that to tell the truth is far more important and will result in far less of a consequences, WHY CAN'T THEY GET IT????????????????????????

I love my teenager, but really hope that some day he will realize "to err is human, honesty is divine." (no posts about how this has been misquoted. I will stand by the misquote until my child is of legal age!!!)
This is my husband...doesn't he look sleepy? I woke him using the flash of my camera. I told you I loved it! (as you can see...he, however, doesn't have as much of an affinity for it!)

Have a wonderful evening!

36 hours in!

What are the possible side effects of CHANTIX?

The most common side effects of CHANTIX include:

• nausea
• sleep disturbance (trouble sleeping, changes in dreaming)
• constipation
• gas
• vomiting

I started the Chantix yesterday and today, still no side effects. I have had less of an urge to smoke, I have a feeling of calm that I never had and I really attribute that to knowing this drug can be so effective for even the die hard smokers. I am one who used to start and stop smoking whenever I desired. For the majority of my smoking life I smoked less than a half a pack a day. Recently, I have been smoking nearly a pack a day. (Most likely the stress in my life, I am typically a stress smoker.)

I am not nervous, anxious, or freaked out about not smoking anymore, I am resolved to a life without smoke.

My family is very important to me and I want to have as many years of my presence as possible.

Taylor and his girlfriend were at the house last night and I was playing with my new camera ***oh how I love that camera*** and I captured a few really cute pics that I will share with you.















The first photo was when she first arrived and was assaulted by the shutterbug mom, and the other was when they were fighting over the remote.

All NEW

Several new things are happening in my otherwise uneventful life!

1. My Basset hound is having puppies in the next couple of weeks...the official due date is 2/9/08.

2. I started taking Chantix today!

3. We bought our first digital camera today.

4. My son is preparing to go to his first formal dance with his girlfriend of 6 months.

5. We bought an eliptical machine today!!! This is for when I am done smoking and can actually breathe when I work out! (I recommend buying one you DO NOT have to put together yourself if you plan on staying married!)

Here are a few pics I have taken so far!

This is my incredibly, irresistibly handsome son, TAYLOR!!!!












Here are the expecting parents!!!
Boo, the Basset Hound is the mother (in the whelping box), and Metal Mike, the Miniature Dachshund (standing on the arm of my couch).










Here is our mean @#$% of a cat, GODZILLA. His name fits him perfectly!












So far so good on the Chantix...no change, no side-effects. I will continue to post on the Chantix, exercising, and (when they arrive) the puppies.